Wednesday, October 17, 2012

My Little Penny

"The City of Townsville can be so boring sometimes..", sighed Blossom.

The Girls were sitting on the edge of their bed, trying to think up something to do. 

"Well... let's talk", suggested Bubbles.

"About what?", asked Blossom.

"How about snakes?!", said Buttercup in a spirit of mischief.

"But what kind?", asked Bubbles.

"Sneaky snakes!", started Buttercup.

"Slimy snakes!"

"Striped snakes!"

"Spectacular snakes!"

"Sandwich-eating snakes!"

"Storytelling snakes!"

"Spinechilling snakes!"

"Ss... ss... oh, I can't think of anything", said a frustrated Bubbles.

The Girls floated up from their bed and through the house.

Outside the front door, they found all of the snakes they had been describing, crawling about on the lawn, doing all manner of things.

"What on earth?", said a disbelieving Blossom.

"That dirty old Him -- he's been listening in on our conversations!", scolded Bubbles.

"Hey!", Blossom called out. "I hear something..."

The three floated along the side of the house. They could faintly hear a high feminine voice saying, "I am a good finder, I am a good finder, I am a good finder..."

They turned a corner and could hardly believe what they saw. There, sifting through their garbage can, was Him, the evillest of evils.

"Ewww!", the three Girls called out.

Him's eyes popped open. He stared at the Girls.

"Hey", said Blossom. "What's that you're holding behind your back?"

"Oh, nothing", Him said innocently. 

Bubbles flew up behind him. She looked puzzled. "Is that what I think it is...?"

Him held it in front of him. It was a discarded doll in Bubbles' likeness.

"We threw that out", said a disgusted Buttercup. "What do you want with it?"

"Well, if you must know, I'm..."

Him's voice became almost silent.

"Huh?", asked Buttercup. "I didn't quite make that out.

"I'm... doing a good deed"

The Girls exploded in laughter.


When she caught her breath, Blossom had to complement him, tears still running down her cheeks. "That's a good one, Him. You -- doing a good deed! Bwah-ha-ha-ha...!"

"No -- truly. Even I do good deeds... when I'm forced to..."

The Girls slowly realized he was serious. He waved his claw and the four were magically transported to his den.

"This is the part of my den I prefer to keep secret", he said, swallowing nervously.

"It's a garden... a really pretty garden", commented Bubbles.

"Yes", Him sighed. "You see, the irrepressible Ms. Sara Bellum started turning up the heat... I faced the possibility of having to leave Townsville... so... (angrily) I agreed to set up this paradise garden green zone and in return I get to stay here in relative peace!"



"Works for me."

"Besides myself, this garden has one resident..."

The Girls could hear someone singing to herself. Him walked towards the voice. He reached the voice's owner and handed her the doll. She thanked him.

Bubbles flew up to the little girl.

"Hi! I'm Bubbles! What's your name?"

"I'm Penny Baxter."

"Baxter...?", asked a concerned Blossom.

"Yes, Girls", said Him. "She's Lenny Baxter's little sister. She grew up in her brother's shadow, and collecting things is all she knows." Him gestured towards a large number of workbenches. "These benches are where she collects broken dolls and action figures, and spends her days repairing them."

Blossom squinted at the benches and said rather critically, "I don't see many Powerpuff figures..."

Him was blunt. "Well, you know, Girls, Powerpuff merchandise is something of a fad that's passed."

Buttercup was blunter. "Yeah, but what about all those zillions of Powerpuff figures that got sold?!"

"Stuffed away in attics... or buried in landfills."

The Girls pouted.

Penny tried to be helpful. She pointed at a broken Buttercup doll with a missing arm. Somehow that didn't help.

"Boy, there's sure a lot of ponies", Bubbles finally said.

Him's eyes lit up. "Oh, yes, Girls! Ponies are currently the world's number one craze. Some people have gone quite silly over those little horse wannabes.."
"And you wouldn't have anything to do with that...?", said a lawyer-like  Blossom.

"Oh, well.. you know... mass insanity does happen to be my specialty", Him boasted.

"All I see is a sad, abandoned creature that needs help", Penny cut in. She held up a pony bearing a number of bite marks. "It'll take me a whole day to stitch that up."

"Of course", said Blossom quietly.

"Um, Penny...", asked Buttercup. "Do you understand all those ponies, all those characters -- Rainbow Dish and Pinkie Puff and Flutterspy -- can you tell them apart and figure out what they're likely to do?"

"Sometimes. There's sure a lot of them."

"I simply love mind games", Him said. "Perhaps you three Girls would like to create your own ponies?"

"Oh! Me! Me!", shouted Bubbles.

"Very well...", smiled Him.

"My pony is called Carpetsoft because her hair is all soft like a carpet, and she's sky blue, and her cutie mark is pretty flowers!"

"Your wish is granted", said Him in a deep serious voice. Sure enough, the pony was now hovering beside Bubbles.

"Hmmm...", said a thoughtful Blossom.

"Please don't make her a nerd", begged Buttercup.

"Shush! Okay... hmmm... my pony is a research scientist, and her specialty is brain DNA, and she's pink, and her name is Bookmark."

Two ponies were now hovering beside the Girls.

"Gee, this is tough", moaned Buttercup. "Okay... she's a martial arts expert... but she doesn't fight the other ponies -- unless she has to -- and she's bright green... and her cutie mark is..."

"Hey. I don't have a cutie mark!", Bookmark complained.

"It's a Nobel Prize Medallion. Now let Buttercup finish", said Blossom briskly.

"Her cutie mark is a karate belt, and her name is Kickbutt!"

"Buttercup!", scolded Blossom.


"Kickbutt's a terrible name for a pony!"

"Let Buttercup chose for herself", said Him, rather condescendingly.

"Can you think of anything better?", challenged Buttercup.

"Um... Wonder Pony?"

"Kickbutt it is."

 The third pony appeared.

"Hey, stop rubbing up against me",  warned Carpetsoft. "You're getting my beautiful hair scruffy!"

"Well, excuse me, Lady Royalty", sneered Kickbutt.

"Ponies, ponies, we were just made. Let's try to get along, shall we?", said Bookmark.

"Bookmark's right. I'm sure you three will become fast friends once you get to know each other", Blossom commented.

Carpetsoft and Kickbutt both pouted.

"So.. what kind of pony adventure would you three like to have?", Bubbles asked.

Bookmark picked up a tape measure from the workbench and started to measure Kickbutt's head. "It is a well known fact that there is a direct correlation between intelligence and and the size of the cranium which surrounds the cerebral hemispheres.. Hmmm... kinda small.... I hope you're keeping up on your reading."

Blossom grimaced. "Um, Bookmark -- that was kind of rude..."

Kickbutt's eyes started to tear up, and she pressed her face against Carpetsoft's flank.

"Stop that!", said Carpetsoft. "I'm not a security blanket.! Go dry your tears somewhere else."

"Remember", said Bubbles. "You're supposed to be nice, Carpetsoft. Nice."

"Oh, I'll try, but it's not easy."

"Yeah, and Kickbutt, what's with the tears? You're the tough one. Come on,Girl. Stick out that jaw!", ordered Buttercup.

Kickbutt swung her head around and stuck her jaw quickly out, striking Bookmark on the shoulder and sending her tumbling head over heels. As Bookmark got back to her feet, she said, "Hey, I think you did that on purpose! ... Ice breath! I hope I have ice breath!" She started blowing at Kickbutt, but all that came out was a stream of marshmallows.

"All you need now is a stick and a fire", mocked Kickbutt.

"Remember, guys,  you three are practically sisters", reminded Blossom. "At least try to get along."

"We were just created", Carpetsoft pointed out. "I think it'll take us a while to figure out how to behave."

"Okay", said Blossom. "Bubbles, why don't you and Carpetsoft have a flight around the garden and get to know each other?"

"Okay", said Bubbles.

"And Buttercup, you and Kickbutt go find a clear space, and you can show her some karate moves."

"All right! Awesome!", said Buttercup.

"So, I guess that leaves me and Bookmark and Penny", said Blossom.

"Don't forget about me", Him pointed out.

"Well, I think the thing to ask is, is it a good thing that Penny is living in a den of evil with a demon. Am I the only one who finds that a bit odd?"

"It's better than living with my big brother Lenny -- all those cold unloved boxes of dolls -- brrr...!"

"Yes, but... well, you should be meeting other people, mixing with other children --"

 "Well", Him cut in, "My den is on the edge of Townsville's magic forest, and near the zoo. I could build a doll hospital above ground. Penny could run it and meet with other children."

"It would be nice to meet the people who had loved their dolls... oh, and it would have to have a Batpole. I'd have to go up to it on a Batpole!"

Him grimaced. "That's so hero-ish... but -- sigh -- okay. It'll have a Batpole."

Buttercup and Bubbles returned with their ponies. Blossom gasped.

"Buttercup -- you've got..."

"A black eye", said Kickbutt with a bowed head. "It was an accident."

"Him?", asked Penny.

"I understand."

Penny started to lead Buttercup to a Batpole which had magically appeared.

"I'm an expert when it comes to cosmetic repairs", boasted Penny.

The two zipped upwards and vanished.

"A Batpole?", asked Bubbles.

"It leads to Penny's doll hospital", explained Blossom.

"Oh. Of course." 

The two started to float alongside Penny's workbench.

"So these ponies are what's replaced us", said Bubbles. "Do you recognize any of them, Blossom?"

"I think that one's called Applestrudel."

The End

Thursday, October 4, 2012

Uh Oh, Dynabone

Uh Oh, Dynabone

The City of Townsville -- the sun is just beginning to rise -- shining down on Townsville's stone age.

"Wog!",  said stone age Buttercup, who was usually the first one to awaken. She looked at her sister Blossom, then casually gave her a poke in the ribs.

"Bog?!", asked a startled Blossom.

The three girls shared glances, blinked, looked around. Their language was primitive, but they'd learned to communicate their thoughts, so let's translate them.

"I'll get a fire started to heat up the mammoth meat", said Bubbles, who floated away.

Blossom began a conversation. "You know, Buttercup, I'm starting to get tired of studying conversational Neanderthal. All they talk about is hunting. I wish there was something more challenging to spend my time on..."

"Aw, who cares. Once we're gone it won't make any difference anyway. People won't even know we existed."

"Buttercup, you're brilliant!", shouted Blossom. "That's it!"

"The mammoth meat's hot!", called out Bubbles.

And so the Girls sat down together to eat and discuss Blossom's plan.

The City of Townsville -- today.

"Girls! Girls! It's incredible!", said the Professor.

"Huh? What?", asked Buttercup.

"A cave! They were digging a foundation on the edge of Townsville and they found a cave! An honest to goodness cave!"

"That's wonderful, Professor! We should go check it out", encouraged Blossom.

 "What if there's scary skeletons?", asked a timid Bubbles.

"Well, you know, Bubbles, skeletons can't really hurt you", said Blossom.

"Yeah, it's the ghosts that hurt you !", taunted Buttercup.


Sure enough, there was a cave. The Utonium family  approached it, with hard hats on their heads. The Professor turned on a lantern and entered first.

"Gosh", he said, "There's been people living here. There's bones everywhere, and that's where they had their fire..."

"I'm starting to feel creepy, Professor....", said a worried Bubbles.

"Oh my gosh -- Professor -- swing that light back where you had it a moment ago!", said Blossom.

The light came to rest on a large contraption of bones and glowing rocks.

Blossom was starting to look worried. "Professor, why are those rocks glowing...?"

"Well, the ore that produces Chemical X glows when it's taken from the ground..."

Blossom continued, "But doesn't Chemical X make things superpowered..?"

The device floated upward and started towards them.

An astonished Blossom called out, "Professor, that kind of looks like Dynamo!" They ducked as it passed overhead.

"A cave man robot?", asked a puzzled Buttercup.

They went outside. The rock and bone robot hovered in midair, then briskly flew away.

"Come on, Girls, follow it!", said Blossom. The Girls flew off, leaving their hard hats spinning in the air.

"I wonder what it wants...", pondered the Professor.

"Pokey Oaks -- it's flying towards Pokey Oaks!", called out Bubbles.

"We've got to protect the children!", shouted Blossom.

It flew over Pokey Oaks and continued on.

"It must be headed for Townsville Hall -- it's planning to take over the City!", said Blossom.

The robot flew over the Town Hall and continued on. Finally it reached the edge of Townsville and showed no sign of slowing down.

"This thing just keeps flying!", complained Bubbles.

As the minutes passed, a sickening feeling started to rise up in Buttercup's stomach.

"Ohhh no...", she moaned. "This thing's headed for..."

"Citiesville!", said Blossom and Bubbles.

The vile town appeared on the horizon. It came closer and closer.

Finally the primitive rock and stone robot stopped and then floated down into the center of Citiesville. The Girls floated down beside it.

"Citiesville...", gasped Blossom.

"It's been...", continued Buttercup.

"Abandoned!" squealed Bubbles.

It certainly had been abandoned. The pavement was broken and cracked, with trees and shrubs growing upward, pushing aside pieces of pavement. One tree had a discarded car tire hung up among its branches.

 "The Mayor's office!", said Blossom in a commanding voice.

A moment later the Girls burst into the office of the Citiesville mayor. Nobody was there. A limp Citiesville flag had holes in it where mice had stolen pieces for their nests.

"The school!", said Bubbles.

The Girls flew there. They entered classroom they'd attended. The desks were still in place, but very dusty. A jacket was curled on the floor as if a cat had used it for a bed. Someone had rudely scrawled in chalk on the chalkboard, "Powerpuff Girls, drooling in the rain, lalala, they won't be back again."

Buttercup sneered, "Jeez, I sure won't miss those kids."

Blossom was thinking.

"Let's go back to that robot..."

They found the robot walking down Citiesville's main street. They floated alongside.

"Can you communicate, Ms. robot?", asked Bubbles.

"Bubbles, how do you know it's a girl robot?", asked a critical Buttercup.

"Just a feeling", said a wistful Bubbles.

The robot stopped, seemed frustrated, shrugged, then resumed walking.

"I'll tell you what", said Bubbles, "hold your hands up to say yes, and hold your hands down to say no."

Blossom asked, "Do you know what drove the people away from Citiesville?"

The robot answered yes.

"Are you on your way to fight it?", asked an interested Buttercup.

The robot shrugged uncertainly.

They continued along until they came to a newspaper dispenser. Blossom reached into a pocket in her suit, felt around, and brought out some money. She bought a paper. The headline read, "Citiesville's  Beloved Cave Man Chimp Villain Mojo Dodo passes away. 'Citiesville Is Doomed', Cries Mayor."

Blossom read the newspaper article out loud to her sisters. It told a tale of the evillest of evils running amok in Citiesville, playing the cruelest of mind games., driving people away in terror.

"Him!", the Girls declared, quite seriously. Strangely, the robot gestured no. This left the Girls puzzled. The robot resumed walking, then began setting overturned cars right side up. Buttercup and Blossom helped, while Bubbles started tying fallen power lines into pretty bows. Eventually the Girls said their goodbyes and began the flight home.

That evening the Girls discussed the robot. They wondered if the Chemical X in the cave had given its dwellers superpowers. The question arose if they should use the Professor's time machine to send some sort of gift back to the robot's makers, as a thank you and hello. Blossom suggested sending some fish hooks and an illustrated instruction sheet, as the cave dwellers were probably always hungry. At this point the Professor tucked the Girls in and they went to sleep.

The next morning --

"Ughhh...",  moaned Blossom. She sat up in bed.

"Blossom, what's wrong?",  asked Bubbles.

"You look terrible!", said a concerned Buttercup.

"I had a nightmare -- a terrible nightmare. The three of us had set a pile of school books on fire, and we were dancing around the bonfire like savages!"

Bubbles gave an impish glance. "Were there any math books in the fire?"

"Plenty of math books", confirmed Blossom. "Why do you ask?"

"Oh, no reason...", said Bubbles innocently.

"No reason except that you hate math", Buttercup pointed out.

"This had to be one of Him's mind games", said Blossom. "I'm paying him a a visit!"

An hour later the Girls crashed down into Him's lair. 

He was laid back on a couch reading a biography of Walt Disney. Blossom glared at him. "We just came back from Citiesville -- we saw what you did!"

Him calmly looked at her. "I've never been to Citiesville. As evil goes, it's a pretty low class place, or so I've been told. I have no desire to bolster the sagging villain economy of that little town."

"The papers tell a different story -- of a demon -- the evillest of evils!"

Him slowly caught on. "Ohhh...", he said. "So that's where he went..."

"Huh?!", asked three bewildered Girls.

Him sat up, collected his thoughts, then began addressing the Girls in a fatherly tone.

"You see, Girls , there are two kinds of evil. I specialize in evils of indulgence. There is another kind -- a very subtle kind."

Blossom gave a quirky look. "You mean you're not universally evil?"

"Oh, great heavens, no. Citiesville is clearly the work of my rival."

"What's his name?", asked Buttercup.

Him spoke the name.

The Girls exchanged glances. Somehow they recognized the name, even though they had never heard it before. Finally Blossom asked, "So what kind of evil does he deal in?"

"Well -- you know -- you never gain something without losing something else. Mark Twain said that after he had learned how  to navigate, the Mississippi River lost its magic" .He held up the book in his claw. "Walt Disney was sorry he never had a college education, but a friend told him that an education would've broken the spell of his magic..."

"That's the great evil? Education", gasped Blossom.

"Don't underestimate it."

The three Girls sagged. Buttercup was the most disappointed. No fight.

"Him", said Blossom, "They've discovered a cave in Townsville. A robot made of bones and Chemical X ore flew out, and right now it's cleaning up the mess in Citiesville. We think it may have been made by cave man Puffs like ourselves. We were planning to send them some sort of gift -- is there anything we could send them
that wouldn't destroy the magical world they live in?"

Three primitive Puffs were floating along in their savage world. A metal claw appeared and dropped something at their feet.

"Wog?", asked cave man Blossom.

She picked it up, turned it around in her hands, sniffed it. Eventually she saw that the box she was holding had a top she could open. She turned the box and a solid chocolate Him figure fell out. She picked it up, saw melted chocolate residue starting to form on her hands,and tossed the lump of milk chocolate quickly into the bushes in horror.

The box with the magic see-through front was given a place of honor in the Girls' cave. Inside it they placed seemingly supernatural pieces of tree bark that bore patterns resembling human faces.

The End

Friday, August 24, 2012



     "The City of Townsville!."

     The man in's shipping department was filling an order written in crayon on a sheet of paper.

     "It looks like a little girl wants an artist's mannikin...'

     He walked past rows of shelves, finally finding where the artists' mannikins were kept. He bent to grasp one, but the one next to it leapt forward and landed on the floor with a plop.

     "Huh?... I guess this box really wants to go somewhere fast. Well, okay, it's courier time for you, pal."

     A week later -- 

     A courier was carrying a package to the Utoniums' front door.

     "It's here! It's here! It's here!".  Bubbles was jumping up and down in delight.

     The Professor signed for the package and handed it to Bubbles.

     "Bubbles, I'm proud of you! You're one step closer to becoming a professional artist!"

     "Thanks, Professor!". She flew to her bedroom with the package.

     Blossom and Buttercup had to dodge flying paper and cardboard as Bubbles ripped the package open. At last she was holding the figure in her hands.

     "It's mine! It's mine! It's all mine!'

    "Pretty slick!", Buttercup had to admit.

     "Um, if you two don't mind, I'd like a little solitude as I make my drawing..."

     "Oh, sure...", said Blossom.

     "Yeah, we'll just go... scrub the toilet or something", added Buttercup. 

     They left.

     Bubbles giggled. She floated over to the dresser drawers and set up the figure.

     "Hmmm... let's see... I think I'll make it Ms. Keane writing on the chalk board..."

      She posed the figure's right arm. Then she picked up a pad of paper and her box of crayons and floated over to the bed. She sat down.


     Both of the figure's arms were hanging down.

     "I could have sworn..."

     She floated back to the figure and reset the arm.


     She floated back to the bed, picked up the pad, and turned to the figure with a big smile on her face. She opened her eyes -- and saw that both of the figure's arms were hanging down. 

     "Hey, there's something mighty peculiar going on..."

     She floated up to the figure and gave it an accusing glare.

     "What's your game? I paid a lot of my allowance to get you, why don't you behave?"

     She posed the arm, but it immediately dropped down. 

    "I smell Him behind this..."

     She gave the figure a few gentle shakes. Now its hands were in front of its face as if crying or afraid.

     "Sigh... okay, if it's a crying drawing Him wants, it's a crying drawing Him gets..."

     She floated over to the bed, sat down, and started drawing.

     She tried to force a smile, but her mouth sagged. She labored at the drawing, scrutinized it, resumed drawing. She stopped to look at the crayon in her hand, felt somehow that she should feel guilty for doing what she was doing, but continued. These were the very same hands that had made so many lovely drawings... and her eyes were the same eyes that had seen so many beautiful things... The figure on her paper looked heartbroken... hopeless. She kept drawing, trying to cheer up the unhappy figure, but the drawing kept getting darker and darker...

     Blossom and Buttercup were in the kitchen enjoying marmalade sandwiches. Bubbles floated in. Her face was ghastly, gaping, frozen.

     "Good heavens, Bubbles!", gasped Blossom. 

     "Let me make you a sandwich," offered Buttercup.

     Blossom poured her a glass of orange juice.

     "This'll pick you up."

     Bubbles spoke weakly, "The horror, the horror..."

     Blossom asked, "What on earth went on in there?"

     Bubbles answered, "My mannikin... Him did something to my pretty little mannikin... I can't make happy drawings with it."

     "Aw, throw the darn thing away", commented Buttercup, rather rudely.

     "But it's mine... I love it... I can't let Him spoil it."

     "Is there anything we can do to help?", asked Blossom.

     "I know one thing," said Buttercup, "Put that thing in the basement, so we can sleep in privacy."

     Bubbles agreed.

     Days passed and Bubbles left the mannikin in the basement. She started to cheer up, although one time Ms. Keane said, "Okay, class, it's time to make a drawing," and Bubbles leapt up in fright and punched a hole in the ceiling.

     She visited Townsville Art Museum and tried to see how artists dealt with unhappy subjects. It seemed that artists often chose shocking or disturbing subjects, but she didn't really see anything that could be called unhappy.

     Finally the Professor told Bubbles that maybe Him could make the mannikin unhappy, but it was still Bubbles who chose who the mannikin was supposed to represent. Why not, he said, make a drawing of -- Him.

     So Bubbles set about making a drawing of the evillest of evils -- Him. She made sure she had plenty of black and red crayons, and set about with a passion.

     Outside the bedroom Blossom and Buttercup paced back and forth like expectant fathers. Hours passed. The Professor brought them some pizza he had ordered. At last a happy Bubbles emerged, triumphant.

     "Good grief, Bubbles!", exclaimed Blossom.

     "That drawing is almost... well, it's almost gag-provoking! It's horrible! Him looks utterly wretched!", said Buttercup.

     Then there came a horrible wailing sound like an air raid siren. A horrified Him appeared. 

     "You can't do that to me! I'm an immortal being, I deserve respect!"

     "Do you want the drawing?", asked Bubbles.

     "Only so I can hide it!"

     "Very well, it's yours -- if you promise to undo the spell you put on my mannikin!"

     "Oh, very well! The spell's undone."

     "Here's your drawing."

     Him pouted a huge pout. "I don't really look like that, do I?"

     "Ask Mr. Quackers", said a confident Bubbles.

     Him looked uncertain. He vanished.

    "All right , Bubbles!", shouted her sisters.

     The Girls shared happy smiles. Somehow the mannikin seemed to be smiling too.

The End


Wednesday, August 22, 2012


      "The City of Townsville! It's happening right here in the City of Townsville!", said Blossom in disbelief.

     What's happening?", asked Buttercup.

     "A satellite radio station -- they're broadcasting all sorts of nonsense -- threatening to overthrow man and take over the world!"

    "Huh? Who?", asked Buttercup.

     Bubbles explained sadly, "Rabbits. There's a bunch of rogue bunnies living under our  house. The Professor's Chemical X got to them and now they're superintelligent and asking the animals of the world to overthrow mankind."

     "Apparently Mojo is there biggest fan", added Blossom.

     Sure enough, Mojo was following their program as he sliced up fish and vegetables.

     "Man was never more than a passing fad," shouted a lady rabbit. "His time has passed, and now it's time for the intelligent animals of this planet to dethrone him!"

     "Right on, sister rabbit," answered Mojo. "This is what I have been saying all along, from the very start, for this is exactly what the wisdom of Mojo Jojo sees to be the truth that is correct."

     Blossom looked worried. "I think it's time we paid them a visit..."

     There were numerous rabbit tunnels under the Utonium home. The Girls broke their way down into one of them. The tunnel was dark, with dim lights glowing here and there, joined by a wire. Everything was in a deep shade of purple.

     "It's almost kind of pretty..."' said Bubbles.

     A rabbit on his hind legs ran past silently, paying them no attention. The Girls floated along, and things started  to get lighter. Finally they entered a large well-lit chamber. In the center, a very intense rabbit queen sat on a wooden throne that her subjects had carved with their teeth.The walls seemed to glow with bright jewels, but on closer inspection the jewels turned out to be small shiny things that people had discarded.

     "So, I see the Powerpuff Girls have come to pay their respects to their Queen. It's about time, if you ask me.", snarled the Queen.

     "Whatcha talking about, harebrain?", snapped Buttercup.

     "Do you have a name?", asked Bubbles.

     "I am the supreme and ultimate monarch of the planet and the universe! I am your queen and emperor. I am Phyllis the First, the one and only, haw haw haw.!"

     "Crackpot...", muttered Buttercup.

     "You're a public menace!", said Blossom, scoldingly. "You threaten the human race, you seek chaos and rebellion... you ought to be locked away!"

     Some of the rabbits near the Queen approached the Girls with warning looks on their faces.

     "It's all an act, dearie! All of life is nothing but an act."

     "Bunnies should be nice! Bunnies should be friendly and want to hug you!", wept Bubbles.

     "Aw, does the little girl want a hug...? Listen, kid, all I ever got from people is buckshot in my behind! I've got so much buckshot in my butt, I set off the metal detectors in airports. I've got so much buckshot in me, when I'm cremated, I won't be ashes, I'll be a blob of solder. I've got so much buckshot in me, I have to chase away men who want to use my butt as a lead mine, haw haw haw!"

     "You've got to stop threatening the human race," demanded Blossom.

     "Aw, you're no fun..."

     "There's no room on this planet for warmongerers. If you stir the fires of discontent, you're only going to get burned. He who lives by the sword, dies by the sword."

     "You're quite the little chatterbox, aren't you?"

     "It's all up to you. We're the Powerpuff Girls. We're stronger than you. There's no reason you can't live a long and happy life here if you agree to behave yourselves."

     "I won't give up my crown."

     "Do you  give your word that you'll become a peaceful citizen of the world?"

     "Oh, very well, I'll be good..."

     "Girls, I think this is an important moment in the history of Powerpuff diplomacy!", boasted Blossom.

     The Girls floated back up to the Professor's basement lab. They were surprised to find that for once the Professor was angry that they'd blasted a hole in the  house. It took them some time to fill in the hole with cement and smooth it over. They looked at the Professor with self-conscious smiles and were glad when he approved. 

     Cleaned off, they floated to their bedroom and went to bed. They debated for a while about the rabbits, but decided that these were rabbits who had mended their ways. 

     The Girls went to sleep.

     Then --

    In the middle of the night --


     The girls awoke, startled.

      "What on earth was that?", asked Buttercup.

      Blossom stammered, "Those... those... those blasted biofreak bunnies just detonated a test nuclear warhead in the earth's mantle under our home!"

     Five minutes later Blossom was at the Professor's time machine setting dials. Then she and Buttercup flew off.

     Bubbles waited.

     She waited.

     She looked down, wondered if her fingernails needed cutting, then remembered Powerpuff Girls don't have fingernails. She looked up. She blinked.

     Then she heard it. 

     The sound of hundreds of little frightened rabbit feet pattering frantically towards the time machine. A great line of rabbits fled through the portal of the Professor's time machine. Queen Phyllis stopped, turned to glare at an angry approaching Blossom, but lost her nerve and jumped into the portal. Blossom flew up and shut down the machine.

     "I hope you enjoy your new home, Queen Phyllis!", mocked Blossom.

     Three stone age Powerpuff Girls were floating along in their savage world. Bubbles was chewing on a ragged bone, but could find no meat. The Girls floated around a large boulder, and found themselves face to face with a community of rabbits. Buttercup's eyes lit up. She approached Queen Phyllis, drool dripping down from her cave man teeth.

     "Oh goody," said Queen Phyllis, "I suppose I should call you Fang..."

The End




Powerpuff Girls fanfiction, also posted at as rayb07

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From a part of the world that produced Donald Sutherland. Solemn. Victorian. A Bob Newhart world with a smug minority and a rate of childhood poverty matched only by Toronto. I survived. Sort of.