Tuesday, August 31, 2010

SHE BLINDED ME WITH GIANTS


OPENING SCENE:



EXT DAYTIME SHOT OF TOWNSVILLE SKYLINE



NARRATOR: Ahem.



SOUND EFFECTS: A DOOR SLAMMING AND A WHEELED CHAIR SQUEAKING ACROSSTHE FLOOR



NARRATOR: Just a minute.



SOUND EFFECTS: PAPER RUSTLING



NARRATOR: (calling out to someone): Are you sure? (into microphone): The city of Townsville! Um... I'm afraid this week's script hasn't arrived yet... I guess we'll just have to fly by the seat of our pants... (forcefully): Meanwhile, in the Utonium kitchen!



WHIP PAN TO:



INT SHOT OF UTONIUM KITCHEN



[The bewildered PPG stand and stare at the CAMERA. The PROFESSOR runs in, struggling to put on his lab coat. He joins the PPG in staring at the CAMERA.]



NARRATOR: Well, duh. The Utoniums started breakfast.



BUTTERCUP: Oh.



BUBBLES: Yum.



[The UTONIUMS sit and start their breakfast.]



NARRATOR: Blossom started some small talk.



BLOSSOM: Hey, Professor, how's your latest experiment coming along?



PROFESSOR: Oh, peachy keen.



NARRATOR: The Hotline sounded.



HOTLINE SOUND EFFECT: Bzzt bzzt bzzt...



[BLOSSOM flies OFF SCREEN.]



BLOSSOM'S VOICE Girls! Townsville's under attack! It's Princess -- she's made herself into a giant!



[Bubbles and Buttercup share glances and then fly OFF SCREEN.]



CUT TO:



A CLOSE UP OF THE SERIOUS PPG FLYING AWAY FROM THEIR HOME



CUT TO:



EXT SHOT OF POKEY OAKS UNDER ATTACK BY A GIANT PRINCESS



PRINCESS: Ha ha ha! Who needs to be a Powerpuff Girl when you're as big as this?!



[She grabs a swing set and tosses it at the Pokey Oaks roof.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF POKEY OAKS



[MS. KEANE and the children hold their hands over their heads as the swing set crashes through the ceiling and lands on the floor.]



CUT TO:



EXT SHOT OF PRINCESS



PRINCESS: Take that, stupid old Pokey Oaks. Ha ha ha! (turning to look at the CAMERA): Oh, and in case you were wondering, dummy, I'm the reason this week's script never arrived. You dopes never give me any new stories, so I made my own!



NARRATOR: Why... you little devil!



PRINCESS: Ha ha ha ha!



[The PPG fly ON SCREEN and land.]



BLOSSOM: Okay, Princess, explain yourself! Why are you attacking Pokey Oaks?



PRINCESS: Why? Because everybody here hated me! They were mean to me! All I wanted was to be a Powerpuff Girl, and you beat me up and humiliated me and had me arrested for no reason!



BUBBLES: No reason?! You attacked us!



PRINCESS: Well -- anyway -- now I'm having my revenge!



[She kicks a hole in a Pokey Oaks wall.]



BUTTERCUP (angrily): That's enough!



[She flies upward at PRINCESS, who looks down and blows flames at Buttercup. A blackened Buttercup plummets down to the ground.]



BLOSSOM: Hey! That's not fair!



NARRATOR: Let me check the rule book...



PRINCESS: So, who wants to get roasted next?



[BLOSSOM and BUBBLES glare at her, but hold their ground. PRINCESS turns and walks OFF SCREEN to our right.]



PRINCESS' VOICE: Now to get some revenge on that stupid Mayor!



[BLOSSOM and BUBBLES float over to BUTTERCUP.]



BLOSSOM: Are you okay?



[BUTTERCUP raises herself up and wipes the soot off her face.]



BUTTERCUP: That stupid Princess! Who knew she could breathe fire?!



BLOSSOM: Yeah... that sure came as a surprise.



BUBBLES: If she can do what she wants, why can't we?



BLOSSOM: Let's try -- suddenly a giant jar appeared!



[A giant jar appears. The PPG break into confident smiles.]



CUT TO:



EXT SHOT OF TOWNSVILLE HALL



[A giant PRINCESS is jumping up and down on the dome.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF THE MAYOR'S OFFICE



[The MAYOR and MS. BELLUM bounce around, struggling to regain their feet.]



CUT TO:



EXT SHOT OF PRINCESS



[BUTTERCUP flies up to her.]



BUTTERCUP: Hey, Princess!



PRINCESS: Yeah?



[The giant jar slams down on her. BUBBLES flies ON SCREEN and pushes the lid under her and flies in circles to tighten it.]



PRINCESS: You... you can't do that!




[Shw blows out huge flames, filling the jar. When she stops, a blackened PRINCESS blinks in astonishment. The PPG grasp the jar and fly OFF SCREEN with it.]



CUT TO:



A POV OVERLOOKING TOWN HALL



[We see the PPG flying away.]



CUT TO:



HEARTS AND STARS



NARRATOR: And so, once again the day is saved, thanks to -- a giant jar!



[A giant jar appears.]



NARRATOR: Let me tell you, Princess, I'm sure not a dummy. No sirree. Who's the one who's in jail, huh? You are, not me. That's right. No, I'm not a dummy. Nope.



THE END
Powerpuff Girls fanfiction, also posted at fanfiction.net as rayb07

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From a part of the world that produced Donald Sutherland. Solemn. Victorian. A Bob Newhart world with a smug minority and a rate of childhood poverty matched only by Toronto. I survived. Sort of.