Friday, November 5, 2010

Frankenbear

Frankenbear



OPENING SCENE:



INT SHOT OF A POST OFFICE



CLERK: Where to?



WOMAN: The city of Townsville.



DISSOLVE TO:



INT SHOT OF THE UTONIUM LIVING ROOM AND THE UTONIUMS



[The PROFESSOR hands BUBBLES a package.]



BUBBLES: What is it?



PROFESSOR: It's a package from my sister Ursula. Open it!



BUBBLES: Oh my! It's a teddy bear... isn't it?



PROFESSOR: Yes, it's a teddy bear. Ursula makes a lot of patchwork quilts, so I guess when she decided to make a bear, she made it out of the pieces of a lot of different bears.



BUTTERCUP: Creepy!



PROFESSOR: Buttercup.



BLOSSOM: I think it's... oh, what's the word I'm looking for...?



BUTTERCUP: Creepy.



PROFESSOR: Buttercup!



BUBBLES": That's okay, Professor. I'm sure it was made with a lot of love, and that's what counts, right?



PROFESSOR: Yes, Bubbles, that's what counts.



FADE TO BLACK



CUT TO:



DEEP BLUE NIGHTTIME SHOT OF PPG IN BED



PROFESSOR'S VOICE: Goodnight, Girls.



PPG: Goodnight, Professor.



[BUBBLES' eyes drift towards the bear, which is on a bedroom table.]



CUT TO:



A CLOSEUP OF BUBBLES



BUBBLES(thinking): It was made with love... it was made with love... it was made with love...



CUT TO:



A CLOSEUP OF THE BEAR



WHIP PAN TO:



INT SHOT OF URSULA SITTING ON A SOFA



[HIM stands beside her.]



HIM(feminine voice): Very well done, Ursula. You made the bear exactly to my specifications.



URSULA: I hated every minute of it.



HIM(f.v.):Oh, don't worry. No real harm will befall the Girls. I just want to play with them.



URSULA: Pervert!



HIM(f.v.): Why, thank you. It isn't all that often I get a compliment. (grins fiercely)



WHIP PAN TO:



CLOSEUP OF BEAR



[The BEAR starts to shake and wobble and jump. Finally a glowing red heart leaps out of its chest and lands on the floor. The PPG gather around it.]



BLOSSOM: This looks like one of Him's tricks.



BUTTERCUP: Whatever that thing is, it sure is full of energy. What should we do with it?



BUBBLES: Put it in the car's gas tank?



BLOSSOM AND BUTTERCUP: Cool!



CUT TO:



A SHOT OF THE PPG IN THE GARAGE



[They put the heart in the gas tank.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF PPG BEDROOM



[The PPG drift into bed.]



BLOSSOM: Girls, I think this has been a good night's work well done.



CUT TO:



EXT MORNING SHOT OF UTONIUM HOUSE AND ROAD



[The PROFESSOR drives onto the road and leaves.]



CUT TO:



A SHOT OF THE PROFESSOR IN THE CAR



CAR: I want you to place me on the floor.



PROFESSOR: ...Okay...(He floors the gas pedal.)



CAR: I want you to guess my name. If you guess right, I'll give you a surprise!



PROFESSOR: Um... Betty?



CUT TO:



AN EXT SHOT OF THE CAR DRIVING UP THE SIDE OF A SKYSCRAPER



PROFESSOR'S VOICE: Auggghhhhhh...!!!



WHIP PAN TO:



INT SHOT OF THE PPG IN THE LIVING ROOM



[BUBBLES is holding the bear. HIM appears.]



HIM(f.v.): Oo -- hoo -- hoo -- hoo! Well, I bet you girls have had a wild morning!



BLOSSOM: Huh? Oh, yeah, the heart.



HIM(f.v.): You found it?



BUTTERCUP: Hours ago. That is so over with.



BUBBLES: He's a good bear now.



HIM(evil voice): Well -- where's the heart?!



[A wild-eyed PROFESSOR staggers ON SCREEN and up to HIM. He licks HIM'S face.]



PROFESSOR: Blaugh! Demon sweat! Ptui! Ptui!. Him -- get the heck out of my house! You're not Betty!



[A hurt HIM vanishes.]



BLOSSOM: Professor, are you okay?



PROFESSOR: It's just nerves... it'll pass.



BLOSSOM(to CAMERA): You'd better cut to the ending.



CUT TO:



HEARTS AND STARS



NARRATOR: And so the day, and the bear, are saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls.



[The PPG appear.]



The End

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Called On Account of a Rainy Day

Called On Account Of A Rainy Day



OPENING SCENE:



EXT DAY SHOT OF TOWNSVILLE SKYLINE



NARRATOR: The city of Townsville! A happy, harmonious place, where everybody gets along!



BLOSSOM'S voice: You are so wrong!



BUTTERCUP'S VOICE: No, I'm not!



BUBBLES: Well, what about me? It's not easy being blue!



[She pouts. A little rain cloud appears over her. BUTTERCUP blows it away.]



BUTTERCUP: Blue schmoo! You're living on easy street, sister!



[BUBBLES gives her an angry glare for a few seconds.]



BUBBLES: Well, if you think I have it so easy, you try being me for a day!



BLOSSOM: That's it! We'll switch roles for a day! I'll be Buttercup, because I know how easy it'll be. Bubbles, I'm afraid you have it hardest -- you have to be me!



BUBBLES: Piece of cake!



HOTLINE SFX: Bzzt bzzt bzzt!



[The PPG look happily OFF SCREEN at the Hotline.]



CUT TO:



EXT DAYTIME CLOSEUP OF THE PPG FLYING AT THE CAMERA WHICH STAYS AHEAD OF THEM AS THEY FLY AWAY FROM HOME



BUBBLES: Okay, Girls, be sure to follow my lead, because I'll be leading this mission, using my leaderly abilities.



BLOSSOM: I'm gonna give 'em a knuckle sandwich.



BUTTERCUP: I hope we don't have to fight too hard. I don't want to wrinkle my pretty dress.



[The PPG exchange superior glances.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF A BANK BEING ROBBED BY HIM, MOJO, AND FUZZY



[The PPG crash down through the ceiling and land.]



BUBBLES: Give up, bad guys! You don't have a chance of being victorious over the Powerpuff Girls!



[The three villains slowly turn around.]



HIM: A doh. A doh doh doh.



MOJO(feminine voice): Oh my, it seems we've been interrupted.



NARRATOR: Sorry, people. This role-switching has already been done in Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever. The network says that's a no-no. Everybody go home.



[The villains leave, grumbling.]



HIM(feminine voice): You do a very good me.



MOJO: Thank you. Mojo put much practice into it.



BLOSSOM: Aw, come on. This would have been fun.



NARRATOR: It's not up for discussion. I'm shutting off the mike and lights.



[The daylight changes to a deep nighttime blue. The CAMERA stays with the PPG as they fly outside.]



BLOSSOM: At least we've got moonlight.



BUBBLES: I guess it could be worse.



[It starts raining.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF UNLIT UTONIUM KITCHEN



[Three dripping PPG float in.]



BLOSSOM: The light switch doesn't work.



BUTTERCUP: At least the food in the fridge is still cold. Submarine sandwiches okay for you guys?



BUBBLES AND BLOSSOM: Sure.



[The PPG sit at the table and start eating.]



BUTTERCUP: What do we do now? I've got that
gotta-do-an-episode-or-go-crazy-feeling.



BLOSSOM: Maybe one of the villains could help us come up with an idea.



BUBBLES: But who?



BUTTERCUP: What about Sedusa? She's vain enough to want the attention.



BLOSSOM: Good idea.



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF SEDUSA'S HOME



SEDUSA: What's going on? First it's dark, then it's light, then it's dark again!



[The PPG crash down through the ceiling.]



BUTTERCUP: Hi, Sedusa! Could you help us finish our episode? That dumb narrator shut things down.



BUBBLES: He said our story was too much like Best Rainy Day Adventure Ever. Pffft!



SEDUSA: It's raining out. We'll have to do it inside. (Whispers something to BLOSSOM and BUTTERCUP)



BLOSSOM: I like it!



SEDUSA: Bubbles, you can be the Narrator.



[BUBBLES beams with joy. SEDUSA trots OFF SCREEN, then returns carrying a biscuit tin.]



SEDUSA: Woo--oo--oo--oo! (lowering the tin to the floor): Booo--ooommm!!!



BUTTERCUP: Goodness gracious! What was that?



BLOSSOM(seriously): The war with Canada has begun.



[SEDUSA begins opening and closing the tin's lid like a mouth.]



SEDUSA(imitating William Shatner): People of Townsville -- the people of Canada love you -- and we are here to make your country -- part of ours.



BUTTERCUP: Eat Powerpuff knuckles, Shatner!



SEDUSA: Zap! Zap! Zap zap!



BUBBLES: The city of Townsville is under attack! Will the enemies' laser cannon fry the Powerpuff Girls?



BLOSSOM: No! We will not be Kirk's Fried Chicks!



[BLOSSOM and BUTTERCUP dodge laser beams. BLOSSOM runs up, grabbing the tin and shaking it upside down. She stomps on the floor.]



BLOSSOM: Take that, William Shatner!



SEDUSA(imitating William Shatner): Oh! I never dreamed -- that I would be -- the disposable crewman.



BUBBLES: And so the day is saved -- thanks to the Powerpuff Girls.



[The four bow to the CAMERA.]



The End

Powerpuff Girls fanfiction, also posted at fanfiction.net as rayb07

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From a part of the world that produced Donald Sutherland. Solemn. Victorian. A Bob Newhart world with a smug minority and a rate of childhood poverty matched only by Toronto. I survived. Sort of.