Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Walk a Mile In My Boots

Walk A Mile In My Boots



OPENING SCENE:



A SHOT OF A HALLWAY IN THE UTONIUM HOME AT NIGHT



[There's a piece from the PROFESSOR'S art collection on the wall.]



BUTTERCUP'S VOICE: Where are you going, Blossom?



BLOSSOM'S VOICE: I have to go have a tinkle.



[A sleepy BLOSSOM floats ON and Off SCREEN.]



NARRATOR: The city of Townsville! It seems even Powerpuff Girls have to answer the call of nature. But maybe something is going on that isn't so natural after all!



[BLOSSOM floats back ON SCREEN. She stops, turns to the CAMERA, and starts to examine herself. The hallway light mysteriously switches on.]



BLOSSOM: Huh?



[She is now wearing a deep red dress, and long black boots like HIM'S. She has HIM-like claws, and her hairbow is taller. She has a feather boa.]



BLOSSOM: God heavens. Girls!



[BUTTERCUP and BUBBLES float ON SCREEN in their night clothes.]



BUTTERCUP: Yeah, what's the problem?



BUBBLES: Blossom, why are you dressed like Him?



BLOSSOM: I don't know...



BUTTERCUP: Cool claws!



BLOSSOM: This isn't funny, Buttercup... It has to be one of Him's evil plots.



BUTTERCUP: Well, let's go beat the tar out of Him and make him switch you back!



BLOSSOM: No, I don't think so, Buttercup. There doesn't seem to be any harm in this. I think we should just wait Him out on this one, until he gets bored and changes me back.



BUTTERCUP: If you say so.



BUBBLES: I wonder what the Professor will say.



CUT TO:



INT DAYTIME SHOT OF THE UTONIUM KITCHEN WITH THE PROFESSOR AND THE PPG



PROFESSOR: Aughhh...!!!



BLOSSOM: Well, it isn't all that bad, Professor.



[He looks at Blossom for a few seconds, blinking.]



PROFESSOR: Aughhh...!!!



BLOSSOM: Professor!



PROFESSOR: I'm sorry -- it's just that you look so -- creepy!



BLOSSOM (in a feminine HIM-like voice): Oh, really...



PROFESSOR (whimpering): Uh-uh-uh...



[The PPG exchange puzzled glances.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF MS. KEANE AT HER DESK IN POKEY OAKS



[The PPG are beside her.]



MS. KEANE: Blossom -- do you mind if I scream?



BLOSSOM: I'd rather you didn't, Ms. Keane. The Professor alredy did that for you.



MS. KEANE: How nice of him.



BLOSSOM: And besides, it might upset the children.



CUT TO:



A SHOT OF THE CLASS



ALL THE KIDS BUT MITCH: Cool!



MITCH: Aughhh...!!!



[The other kids turn and look at him.]



CUT TO:



MS. KEANE AND THE PPG



MS. KEANE: Well, I guess you should go to your desks, so we can begin class.



CUT TO:



THE PPG AT THEIR DESKS



MS. KEANE'S VOICE: If I add three and four, what do I get?



[BLOSSOM struggles to use her pencil in her claw.]



DISSOLVE TO:



THE PPG CUTTING CONSTRUCTION PAPER



[BLOSSOM is using her claw.]



DISSOLVE TO:



THE PPG IN THE PLAYGROUND SKIPPING ROPE



[BLOSSOM is using her feather boa.]



CUT TO:



EXT DAYTIME SHOT OF THE PPG FLOATING HOME ALONG A SIDEWALK



BLOSSOM: Well, I think today went well.



BUTTERCUP: Yeah, just three screaming people and one parent saying you should be burned at the stake.



BUBLES: Silly parent. Powerpuffs are fireproof!



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF UTONIUM HOME



[The front door opens and the PPG float in. The PROFESSOR runs up.]



PROFESSOR: Girls! The Hotline rang. The Bank's being robbed!



[The PPG fly out the door.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF A BANK BEING ROBBED BY A WOMAN IN A WHITE ROBE WITH ANGEL WINGS



[The PPG fly in.]



BLOSSOM: Give up, evildoer! The Powerpuff Girls are here to stop you!



[The WOMAN turns around.]



PPG: Gasp! Femme Fatale!



FEMME FATALE: That's right, Girls! Like Faust, I made a deal with a demon, and now I have an angel's wings and an angel's powers!



BLOSSOM: We don't care what powers you have! (in an evil voice): We're going to stop you!



[Her sisters look at her in surprise.]



FEMME FATALE: Oh, I don't think so, Girls. You always do what's right, don't you?



PPG: Of course!



FMME FATALE: Well, who's the angel? Who's the devil?



[BLOSSOM grits her teeth in uncertainty. Her sisters stare at her. FEMME FATALE grabs a bag of money off the bank counter and runs out the door.]



CUT TO:



A SERIES OF SHOTS SHOWING FEMME FATALE RUNNING FROM VARIOUS BANKS CARRYING BAGS OF MONEY



[Finally we have a shot of her floating down the SCREEN amid a shower of dollar bills.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF THE PPG SITTING ON THE EDGE OF THEIR BED WITH THEIR HEADS IN THEIR HANDS



[The PROFESSOR walks ON SCREEN carrying a newspaper.]



PROFESSOR: Girls, what in heaven's name is the matter with you? This Femme Fatale is robbing Townsville blind!



BLOSSOM: But... she's a angel... and I'm not.


BUTTERCUP: And Blossom's afraid to go outside.



BLOSSOM: If I hear "You ought to be burned at the stake!" one more time (in a sweet high voice): I'm going to explode!



[The PROFESSOR sits down beside the PPG.]



PROFESSOR: Blossom, you're big enough to ignore what people say. Doing the right thing is what counts.



BLOSSOM: And right now I'm the wrong thing.



PROFESSOR: Do you really think some silly boots and a feather boa make you an evil person?



BLOSSOM (evil voice): It's a really evil feather boa.



[She jiggles it and tickles the PROFESSOR'S chin.]



PROFESSOR (whimpering): Uh-uh-uh...



BUTTERCUP: The Professor's right! We're crime fighters and she's a criminal! Let's go kick her butt!



[BLOSSOM looks weakly at her.]



BUTTERCUP: Come on, say it, Blossom -- we're gonna kick her butt!



BLOSSOM (sweetly): We're going to kick her butt.



BUTTERCUP: Again!



BLOSSOM: We're going to kick her butt.



BUTTERCUP: Again! With feeling!



BLOSSOM (evil voice): We're going to kick her butt!



BUTTERCUP: Right! Let's do it!



[The PPG fly out the door. A happy tear drops from the PROFESSOR'S eye.]



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF A BANK BEING ROBBED BY FEMME FATALE



[The PPG crash down through the ceiling and land.]



BLOSSOM: The party's over, Femme Fatale. You're a criminal, we're crimefighters, and now you're going to do the time!



FEMME FATALE: You seem to forget that I'm an angel.



BLOSSOM: Only on the surface. In your heart there's an evil that makes me an angel by comparison. Let's get her, Girls.



FEMME FATALE: No! I've got wings. I'm an angel. You're bad. Oof!



[ The ppg thrash her and carry her out the door.]



BANK EMPLOYEES: Hooray!



CUT TO:



A CLOSEUP OF A TOWNSVILLE NEWSPAPER READING: FALLEN ANGEL NOW GRACES TOWNSVILLE PRISON WITH HER PRESCENCE



CUT TO:



INT SHOT OF THE PPG BEDROOM



[The PPG fly in and lay back on the bed.]



BLOSSOM: Another battle successfully completed, Girls!



[HIM appears.]



HIM (e.v.): Nooo...!!! You brats shouldn't have won!



BLOSSOM: We won, Him. Now switch me back.



HIM (disgutedly, e.v.): Oh, very well.



[BLOSSOM changes back.]



HIM (f.v.): But you have to admit -- being me wasn't as easy as you thought, was it?



BLOSSOM: Yes, it had its dark moments. Some time you should spend a day as me!



HIM (horrified, f.v.):That is... so gross...



[HIM vanishes.]



CUT TO:



HEARTS AND STARS



NARRATOR: And so once again the day is saved, thanks to the Powerpuff Girls!



[The PPG appear. BLOSSOM is wearing a feather boa.]



BLOSSOM: You know, this is actually kind of fun.



BUTTERCUP (evil voice): Really?



BUBBLES (sweet voive): Oh my. Maybe we all should get one...




PPG: ha ha ha...



THE END

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Powerpuff Girls fanfiction, also posted at fanfiction.net as rayb07

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From a part of the world that produced Donald Sutherland. Solemn. Victorian. A Bob Newhart world with a smug minority and a rate of childhood poverty matched only by Toronto. I survived. Sort of.